It’s been a very big week for The Bachelor family. Sean Lowe and Catherine tied the knot with his father officiating in a “grown sexy” wedding. (Don’t get me started on that ridiculous term) The only highlight to the 2 hour televised Sunday night special was how beautiful Catherine looked as a bride.
Congratulations to a Bachelor I thought was much more fitting for the role than both Sean and Juan Pablo, Andrew Firestone, who welcome his son Shane on Monday.
Since I am not the least bit passionate about Juan Pablo, I am being fair and having other Bachelor fans guest post most of this season. I am thrilled to introduce you to Rachel Teichman who I met on twitter. Fellow mom and Bachelor watcher Rachel is an avid baker who wanted to make it easier for all families to find Jewish sites when looking to make a move or plan a trip. So she cooked up OOGIAH, which means cookie in Hebrew. And which is now also a sweet place for parents to search for Jewish family resources.
I am a blogger who writes about things to do with kids. Namely cooking and crafting with preschoolers. A typical preschool day consists of playtime, snack time, hugs, kisses and learning to share.
While watching this most recent episode, I realized how the life of a preschooler is not unlike that of these grown women on the “The Bachelor!”
Whether Juan Pablo is playing the role of the most popular kid on the playground, the father who loves all his girls equally or the teacher who the students all want to please, remains to be seen. It may be that he is a bit of everything rolled into one for each of these big girls.
Man in Their Life
Juan Pablo always gets me with his “ay ya yai,” “ooooh” and his infamous “stare turned head tilt down” when he is in both awe and disbelief. He is handsome, yes. Sexy in the shower, yes. Athletic and a semi-good dancer, yes. Loving father, yes. But what else are we seeing here, ladies? What are his hobbies besides soccer? What does he care about besides his daughter? He is such a good listener and inquirer, but I don’t know what else is there. Oh yeah…he’s become famous.
He is so proud when the girls overcome something they didn’t want to do, whether it be dancing in a mall full of people who are not there to see you and won’t be looking at you or applauding for you (Nikki), or eating something as gross as a tiny piece of octopus that everyone else easily ate (Clare).
Juan Pablo loves that Nikki can change diapers, more than he loves that Kat can dance. Funny that one of those skills is not one that anyone can learn how to do. He seems to like giving them all a chance to impress him, and he has called more that one girl “bella” (beautiful). But really he can’t be expected to come up pet names for thirteen girls. And no one will be the wiser until he is engaged, and they watch this on TV with the rest of us!
These girls don’t want to share their man. The thing we say in our own house to our children is “You don’t have to share everything, but you have to share some things.” Of course Juan Pablo is the only “thing” the ladies want, so it makes sharing all the more difficult. They don’t want to share his attention, his dates or his kissing skills. And Juan Pablo is smart. He knows better than to fly overseas with them. Daddy needs his alone time.
It’s always hard when there is an odd number of girls in a group. There are thirteen left, and the odd one out is Nikki. The other girls like to talk behind her back about how she is not there for the right reasons, and how she talks about the other ladies behind their backs. This is the quintessential rationale of a two-year-old. Nikki thinks the other girls are annoying, and they think she is too! At least they can all agree on something.
This is basically not being on a date, one on one or otherwise. It’s the worst place to be. Well being close enough to see Juan Pablo kissing a girl who is not you might be worse, but at least then you are in the middle of the action. Being stuck back at some luxurious digs is so boring and isolating. Except for the other girls who are stuck there too. During Time Out you have to do your own nails, and gossip about the missing girls. It’s rough.
The girls like to travel in packs on those group dates, playdates if you will. They hold hands, laugh, sing and dance together. Sometimes they have teachers (21), and sometimes they get free play (karaoke in a dollhouse).
The girls are screaming during their arrival in Korea, with no chaperone to tell them to be quiet. Not setting a good example. Kat needs to be the center of attention and the best at what is going on. Lucky for her all she ever has to do is dance, which she can. She even teaches the other girls how, what companionship.
And what kids aren’t enamored with the school fish tank? You know these girls are loving the fish pedicure experience, because they can all tell their classmates back home how they got to try this uber trendy beauty treatment.
They also get to play dolls in their heads, as they imagine their life as an instant mom. Sharleen, seriously, you are lucky you never had to say you don’t actually want kids. He wants three more, and you don’t even know if you want the one he has.
Preschoolers can be picky about they eat. Like Claire, they won’t eat everything they are supposed to. They make a big deal out of trying a new thing, and then do it. It’s an octopus Clare, which you have probably eaten before. Way to call attention to yourself, and then look like a good sport. Sharleen ate everything she was supposed to on their “Seoul Mate” date throughout the city.
They are allowed to pack themselves, but of course they are already packed because none of them live in this mansion anyway. It is all make-believe. And sorry, no kimono costumes are needed for playing dress-up in Korea ladies. They will wear whatever you put them in, for the most part. Fluorescent workout gear, cartoonish dance costumes, you got it. Of course they need someone to brush their hair and do their pigtails. I am always amazed that all the outfits they need end up on a date, and them magically end up on them at the right time. A Fairy Godmother perhaps?
The ultimate reward for the right behavior is going on one-on-one dates and getting roses, and these girls will do whatever it takes to get them. Chris said “Congratulations” to Sharleen for being rewarded with a one-on-one date. Such positive reinforcement. Thank goodness no one saw Juan Pablo win that adorable plush heart on the street. They would literally be tearing him and the pillow apart.
These women cry at the drop of a hat. Or at the rejection of physical love, namely a kiss. Lauren, come on, he explained that he wasn’t kissing anyone that night, no need to cry. He wanted to set a good example for his actual preschooler by only kissing six girls in a matter of days. Nevermind that he then made that seven. It’s a good lesson in math. Lauren and Elise, it’s ok, nothing you could have done or not done, would have made a difference. Stop crying and go meet a handsome tourist at the airport on your way back to the US. I know you had to do the palace walk of shame, but you were just on “The Bachelor.” It’s the best ice breaker ever!
During the most dramatic rose ceremony ever, the ladies got to play dress-up in their princess gowns in an actual ancient palace. I was surprised that they were actually allowed to use this location. Sharleen got to be dramatic by singing opera on her date, after overcoming not wanting to, which we all know Juan Pablo is a sucker for. What girl doesn’t like to sing in front of an adoring audience anyway? And where does she get off saying she wants to know if they have something beyond chemistry? Awkward kissing does not chemistry make. She has obviously not taken Chemistry yet. That comes in high school. Sharleen’s best line was, “I’d rather not enjoy today, and not get to know you better!” Because I believe her.
They love bubbles.
Enough said. I will enjoy watching as these women continue to grow up, and convince Juan Pablo that they are mature and compatible enough to share his attention with an actual four-year-old girl.
You can read another Bachelor related piece from Rachel at Chip Chat with Trista.